A Perfect Love in an Imperfect World: The most beautiful response to the word “Love”
On a golden autumnal afternoon in London after a stroll in Kensington Palace Gardens I sat on one of the many benches surrounding the lake. The lake was bordered by tress in the process of letting go – in colours of sunset orange; tumeric; teracotta; copper and the prettiest hues of scarlet. An elderly couple sat beside me. The gentleman sat at the edge of the bench and beside him, in a wheelchair, his wife. The gentleman, Dave, looked upbeat complimenting the London autumn sun. The lady, his wife Haely, sat shrivelled. With her face buried in her left hand she sat frozen in that pose. Except for when she removed her hand to agitatedly rustle the nest of ash grey hair on her head. Around her there was beauty. White and blue took centrestage in two directions – the white clouds traversing the blue skies and the white swans, swimming in file, on the blue of the lake. A swan came before her and majestically spread his feathers. Again and again and again. A show so beautiful that it would put the faith of God into you. A little girl watching pranced and clapped in glee. She was smaller than the swan but her squeals of laughter occupied a much bigger, magical space. Passersbys stopped, smiled at the little girl, watched the swan’s display in awe and posed for photos. Except Haely, who showed no change in her facial expression. With her face still buried in her chin she simpy moved her gaze downwards, staring at her socks and shoes that were done up like a schoolgirl.
She had Alzheimer’s I learned. I struck up a conversation with her husband who began sharing as easily as strangers who become friends. He met Haely when he was a married man stuck in a failed marriage and had a clandestine affair with her. “I gave Haley a very tough time”, he said, “I kept taking out the stress of my failed marriage on her. And she put up with me. She would always respond to my mean ways with compassion. But my behaviour often left her in tears and 2 years later, she left. She could no longer stay ‘trapped’, she told me. I didn’t have the courage to tell my wife about Haely because I had 3 children under 13 and my eldest son had Down’s syndrome. I feared if I was honest about Haely my wife would leave taking the children with her. So I kept quiet and stayed duplicitous and ‘trapped’. After Haely I had fleeting affairs with other women too but no other woman put up with me or my situation for more than a few weeks. But then, infact 25 years ago this month, tragedy struck. My eldest, whom I loved more than anyone, was taken away. His death was the last straw that officially broke my already broken marriage. My wife and I could not relate or even reach out to each other even though we were facing our biggest tragedy. Tragedy I was told brings people together, not with my marriage. I guess because the cracks were large and the light being let in through them just gave my wife and me the courage to break away so we could be the people we really wanted to be.”
“It was over a dinner of cod and chips two months after Joshua’s (my son’s) death that my wife told me she had met someone and wanted out. I was 52. I began my search for Haely. There was no social media and whatsapp then. She had moved house and it took me few months to find her and then another 2 years to bring her back into my life. I proposed to her in the same coffee shop she broke up with me in. I used the space of a sad ending this time for a happy beginning. Haley and I got married and we had a good 19 years together before she began her affair – with Alzheimer’s. This time it’s my turn to stand by her side. She does not respond to anyone except me, and that too, only sometimes.”
Haely was still gazing at her schoolgirl shoes and socks.
More swans had sauntered into Haeley’s space and were busy with parading their antics. Haely continued gazing grownwards. Just then Dave called her by her name and there was no response.
And then he said “My Love” and she smiled. Dave continued “My Love, now that’s the smile I’ve always fallen in love with”. And Haely’s face left her hand. She looked up at her husband. And smiled. Never before have I ever seen a more beautiful response to being called ‘love’.